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As I got older, the solid wall that contained Simone began toerode, and when I discovered the internet, that wall crumbled as Idiscovered a whole community of men that fought this same battle withtheir feminine alter egos from one degree to another. In early 2003, Ifound a place in suburban Chicago that provided a makeover service forpeople like us, and I was immediately intrigued. I had crossdressed inthe comfort of my own home for years...but makeup and a wig were stillforeign concepts for me. The thought of going out and buying a wigexcept around Halloween terrified me. Also the concept of wearing makeupwas also pretty scary....I thought I would look like an absolute clownif I attempted to fix my face up with makeup. But I was intriguednonetheless. I wondered what I would look like if I was made up by aprofessional, and what the total package would look like if I waswearing a wig. While taking a walk I made up my mind: I would make an appointment andsee what Simone really looked. Just like last time it made me feel a part of the team. ‘Yes, 2 guys. I mean….not together of course!…’ He laughed then. Beautiful smile! ‘Well yeah but 2 different guys and it was like 3 times with one of them in when I was a freshman and once with this other guy but I was kind of tipsy’ I paused to make a face to let him know how stupid I knew I was ‘and it didn’t really work out at all.’ ‘I’m sure you realize that these younger guys just want to get off in the girls mouth and can’t be bothered to help instruct a girl, especially a girl who is just beginning.’ I nodded glumly. Guys! Sometimes they’re sooooo selfish with girls. ‘Who then? Who trained you ever? Or taught if you prefer. Or guided you. Or even explained the basics of male sexuality to you? Or the physiology of an erect cock? Anyone?’ I shook my head and cast my eyes down, feeling like somehow I’d let John down. ‘Not a big sister? Or a cousin? Or your Mom?’ I was shocked that he would mention Mom in this context. Was he.
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